The “SAPPY” Journey Begins…

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

I can only describe this day as “SAPPY!”

HAPPY + SAD = “SAPPY”

These are just a few of the reasons why…

After years of specialist after specialist, doctors thinking “I’m crazy,” hospitals, ambulance rides, ERs, surgeries, medicine and more medicine, pain, misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis, many tears, fears, relapses, hope and then despair, one step forward and two steps back, pleading for healing, and countless prayers, some answered and some not yet, we have a clear but hard diagnosis. However, as the love of my life reminded me, “We can handle anything as long as we know what we are dealing with!” So as HAPPY as I am to finally have a diagnosis after all this time, I am SAD because treatment will be looooong and hard in my case which is “one of the worst” my doctor has ever seen.

Part of my treatment plan the doctors feel I need right now is to rest, rest, rest in a stress-free environment so that my body can spend all of its energy healing. How do you do that as founder of a non-profit ministry in its “growth” year, mom of two very active teenage girls and wife to a man whom I try to take care of as much as possible because he works so hard for our family? There is only one way. I must go away to a place of peace and quiet and no responsibility which makes me both HAPPY & SAD. SAD because I have to be away from the people and things I love the most. HAPPY because I am weary and soooo tired of trying to keep going day after day after day.

Ohhhhh, I am most SAD about missing my favorite things, many onetime events and special moments while I am away…Friday night date nights, hearing all about my girls’ days at school, early morning coffee on the patio, annual family Spring Break trip, Cheer tryouts, monthly lunch at work, celebrating making the cheer squad and jumping up and down with my girls after one is awarded a very high honor at school…just to name a few. As much as I will miss every one of these which are so dear to me, I am HAPPY and long for the times I know I will encounter God while I am away!

Soooo SAD to leave my man. HAPPY because they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder!” SAD that I will be away from my precious girls. HAPPY because they are old enough to care for themselves and could actually run our household which they would not have been able to do years ago. The HAPPY & SAD list goes and on and on…

All of which just leaves me feeling “SAPPY” today!

Until I picked up one of my favorite daily devotion books, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, and these words jumped off the page at me…

“Come to Me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life. Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good (Romans 8:28), including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway. This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not. However, you are on the path of My choosing, so DO NOT give up. Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My Presence.”

This is the story of my journey “on the path of God’s choosing” as it continues to unfold…

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2 thoughts on “The “SAPPY” Journey Begins…

  1. Karmen, i want to pray for you and have my ‘prayer warriors” get on board, too. I don’t know what is wrong with you, but it sounds seriously debilitating. for one so active and vibrant, I know it’s hard for you. but, as you know so well, the prayers of those who care about you will do the work, the miracle that is needed. Sending my love and hope to you through this machine. Paula

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